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Things I See

by Ateha Bailly

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1.
For Granted 05:46
Make it right this time I don't know where I'll be I'll leave you in light this time But I don't know where I'll be I'll give you a call this time Still I don't know where I'll be Each time we hold this way I feel the strangest thing I fell we've been here forever And in all our greener days We never did one thing We never danced I've taken for granted This loving in silence I've taking for granted That you'll hold me again If all is right here I hear the battle drums coming But I don't know where I'll be And with each passing year It's made much more clear Our story grows on top of itself And multiplies and replicate And all the things I could create I wouldn't hesitate to destroy I've taken for granted This loving in silence I've taking for granted That you'll hold me again If all is right here I hear the battle drums coming But I don't know where I'll be Reach the infinite my lover Together we sit on ocean Never be apart Hold you right here in my heart Reach the infinite my lover Why can't we just be each other? Reach the infinite together See forever, See forever One time for my lovers who all should know When that kingdom comes you bring that kingdom home Can't fly through the heavens when you're on your own Can't fly through the heavens when you're all alone One time for my lovers who all should know When that kingdom comes you bring that kingdom home Can't fly through the heavens when you're all alone And you won't find peace until you find your soul I tried to save the world it left me in a storm again You pulled me to the shore and held me in your arms again And I had been through hell so I threw you in the fire again To purify my mind of my only desire again Each time comes to this And darling I must admit I know I can't break through without you So this time I'll get it write This time I'll hold you tight This I swear with all that is true I've taken for granted This loving in silence I've taking for granted That you'll hold me again
2.
I don't speak very well And I don't know how to tell Silent shouts to the sky Storm clouds echo my reply You leave me in pain I'll ask you again Why am I stuck in the rain I'm lost in everything I don't speak very well And I don't know how to tell If the remedy is found up on high Why the unclear echoes from the sky You leave me in pain I'll ask you again why am I stuck in the rain You leave me in pain I'm lost in everything Why am I stuck in the rain
3.
Deep River 03:22
Deep River My home is over Jordan I'll walk into heaven And take my seat And cast my crown At Jesus' Feet Lord I wanna cross Over into campground Deep River My home is over Jordan Don't you wanna go To that Gospel feast That promised land Where all is peace Lord I wanna cross Over into campground
4.
Things I See 04:16
I've noticed how snuggly your pats on the back fit into my scars As we celebrate, congratulate, and say that we've come so far My head turns with the tides of time Have we redefined progress or redefined crime? Maybe it'd be clearer with less light to shine The things I see are the things I feel so I speak my peace that I won't conceal I've noticed potential for poison in prayers As I sit in meditation and breathe away all my cares A promised land and gospel feast But nothing here for us to eat How can we open the door if we're this weak? Even make the grim reaper scared Another day another body Do people care? There's evil here They say keep repeating the lessons to dispel the fear But then they keep us on our knees cuz all we've got is prayer Left in bedrock for dreadlocks Look wrong, you get shot You on, you get knocked The fuck off the path The sickness spreads fast Thats how they divided us all along Do the math And I believe There's power in the sky Power in the most high Power I intend to reside beside Beside the fact that I could die Despite any accomplishments or pride It's tough to walk the streets End up deceased... But ya'll subtracting We goin' multiply You know why? Cuz the things I see are the things I feel so I speak my peace that I won't conceal
5.
Precious Lord Take my hand Lead me on Help me stand Because I am tired I am weak I am worn Through the storm Through the night Lead me on To the light Precious lord Take my hand Lead me home
6.
Lately, you've been looking at the wicked ones They say maybe we're the saviors the holy ghost And all of your hope and faith and prayers are coming out in broken tongues You feel you're speaking a language that God forgot But really you need an army to protect your prayers Because your angels are dying You fight those demons no fear But leave us unresolved unclear Let us all resolve what's near But let the sun dissolve right here And lately, you've been looking for the holy ones But you just end up right back in the devils mystery lair So you swaddle your baby in a holy veil To hide the fact that they just might have been here before But I think that we just might remember the sky we didn't hear from That's why we need an army to protect our prayers Our angels are dying in the street You fight those demons no fear But leave us unresolved unclear Let us all resolve what's near And let the sun dissolve right here
7.
Sometimes I feel Like a motherless child A long way from my home Soon I will be done with the troubles of the word I'm going home to live with God I want to meet my mother I'm going home to live with God Sometimes I feel like I'm almost gone A long way from my home
8.
The Comedian 04:58
There was too much silence So you woke us into dreams I'm devoted to this anger Because you would not let us be Good luck wiping off the memories of these scars They're burnt into the memory of the stars And yes I am afraid of the stillness of the night ButI still close my eyes Eclipse the night To run from light There was too much silence So your howling voice uncovered this haze I'm devoted to this anger Because you're too used to praise Good luck wiping off the memories of these scars They're burnt into the memory of the stars You're always starting something Always out here using buttons I know you're something now There was so much silence I could've sworn it was always and forevermore But as I sit here tired and hungry and wasted I wonder what I ever believed that for
9.
Its always there to be broken Since the day it was spoken So I know I will escape I heard the tablets break I'm doing what it takes I stoking the fire I'm smoke in the fire Love me Don't love me I know one thing There's no good or bad above me I'm a warrior I know who I am This is all I have But I know I will drift away I was born this My actions will melt away Its always there to be broken Since the day it was spoken So I know I will escape I heard the tablets break I'm doing what it takes I stoking the fire I'm smoke in the fire And though its not the only way I can only reap whats been sown So the birds they sing God damn your soul And I sing goddamn I know It was made to be broken And nothing stopped them from breaking me This is action for which I was chosen Does that make me the enemy It was always meant to be broken Since the day it was spoken So I know I will escape I heard the tablets break I'm doing what it takes I stoking the fire I'm smoke in the fire

about

Pride for my culture has always manifested itself in the music to which I am drawn. From a young age, I immersed myself in music spanning from Negro spirituals to traditional West African music. And, as a musician, I identify these influences in my own original music. For instance, I fell in love with the complex rhythms found in West African music and experiment with them in my guitar playing.

I have also always been enamored with traditional music of Black America. I am particularly fascinated with the persistence of these traditions and how the same spirituals and folk songs have helped to tell the stories of peoples removed from each other by generations. These songs have traveled through time and space to give voice to people who have been forgotten and ignored. I feel that it is not only appropriate but necessary to adapt these songs, in order to tell my own story of being a young, black person in America today. However, this music carries another element essential to this narrative.

In my life, it has held true that disenfranchised, oppressed, and struggling peoples turn to faith for refuge from the ills of the world. As a result, religion becomes a recurring theme in the music that represents their culture. As a child, I was introduced to the tenets of Christianity through Gospel, Blues, and Negro Spirituals. However, I believe that at its core, music such as this reaches beyond the confines of a specific religion. It does not merely reiterate Christian dogma. It uses the hope of salvation and happiness, in the next life, to temper the emotions people have towards the suffering of this life. Using hope for the next life as a means for putting the pain of reality into perspective is not a uniquely Christian idea. I was also raised around the spiritual organization Ananda Marga and similar ideas of salvation manifest themselves there as well. While these are merely two examples, among various others, they are the ones with which I am most familiar. Thus, I will use them to explore the implications of ideas related to salvation and heaven on oppressed peoples in the here and now.

This album explores the religious underpinnings of Black diasporic musical traditions and juxtaposes them with concepts from Ananda Marga philosophy. In so doing, I have attempted to creatively use the unique perspective of my religious upbringing to explore the question: How can ideas of salvation and heaven be applied without veering into apathy regarding injustice in the here and now?

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released October 26, 2016

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Ateha Bailly Portland, Oregon

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